Brooklyn Decker in red leather at the ESPYs: cute or meh?

The ESPYs were last night. Don’t even ask me what they are or what the award signifies, because I have no idea. Also, please don’t ask me who won what. Seriously, I cannot emphasize this enough: if you make me talk about sports, you will be so, so disappointed in how little I know. I pay attention to the Olympics… and really, that’s about it.

Anyway, here is Brooklyn Decker in a Jay Ahr strapless, leather dress. The shoes are gold Louboutins, and the hair is by your mother. That’s what kills me about Brooklyn Decker, who is genuinely a pretty girl: her messed everything up by chopping off her hair. I think she knows it, too. When she had long blonde hair, everybody was all over her. Then she chopped it off into a 40-year-old soccer mom style, and now, suddenly, no one really gives a crap about her. That’s the power of the hair! As for the dress – it’s pretty cute. I don’t think Brooklyn has much style in general (or her stylist hates her), but she managed to find a cute, young, sexy little dress. The hair almost kills it, but whatever.

Guess who else was there? Kerry Washington? I’m guessing, because THIS looks like the old Kerry Washington, the girl I was fond of when she started working a lot, circa 2004-05. In the past few years, it seemed like she had some Madonna-esque chicken-cutlet cheek implants put in, and she also looked rather emaciated. Well, she’s back! She’s gained some (needed weight), her cheeks look normal-ish… well, I think the cutlets are still in there, but the added weight doesn’t make them so noticeable. YAY!

Here’s a side-by-side of Kerry in 2008 and now.

To end: just a touch of Seth Meyers. Go ahead, touch him.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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